Animal Crackers
by silver drip
Summary: An injured Caius meets a dark Bella. One-shot, all Caius' POV.


**This one-shot was inspired by the first chapter of Jennatem's story My Angel, which is a romance that you just have to check out.**

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I tried to hold in my own useless guts while stumbling through the damp forest. The jagged slashes across my torso sent jolts of pain through me with every step I took. My left arm was just barely attached to my torso, dangling uselessly.

I could hear the last of the mongrels limping behind me. His heart was racing and I'm sure the only thing spurring him on was anger. Killing the other abomination had taken its toll on me and now that there was just one left I no longer had the strength to finish it.

Part of my small intestine slipped out and I almost tripped over it as I kept moving forward. I tried to pull it back inside of me, but the wolf latched onto the slimy cords that once helped me live. I stumbled as I felt them quickly unwind and disconnect from me. The brief stumble allowed for the wolf to catch up with me. I quickly turned on him, knowing that if I didn't my head would be torn off.

The russet wolf lunged at me. I moved out of the way, its fur grazing me. I raked my fingers down its flank, gouging it. The wolf yelped, but it wasn't enough.

If I was at full strength this would be done in under a second. Damn this body for not being able to handle this amount of ruin. And damn these animals for being able to cause such destruction.

I looked at the oversized dog as it panted. My eyes met his only remaining one. Such hate… yes, that's exactly what I wanted to see. It wouldn't be a fight without true hatred.

I smiled at the abomination and he growled. His next move was much slower. He swiped at me with his large paw. I moved backwards, just out of his range while reaching into my gut. In a quick movement I pulled out a kidney and tossed it at the wolf, hitting him in his remaining eye. He flinched as it hit its mark, the venom burning away the tender flesh of his eye. I used that brief moment of vulnerability to attack, going straight the artery in his neck.

I only felt the briefest of satisfactions as the animal's blood sprayed everywhere and its large form fell to the forest ground. I leaned against a tree while looking at the soon to be corpse. It twitched and gurgled before finally laying silent.

I slowly reassembled the organs that I had lost along the way and put them in their proper places, but almost every time I leaned forward a few more fell out. It was tedious, but I finally got them all inside of me. I kept my right arm crossed over my torso to keep them in place. My left arm wasn't healing quick enough either, still dangling limply. My whole body was pulsating painfully.

I slowly made my way in the general direction of civilization- but something wasn't right. My vision wasn't as clear as it usually was and my healing was stalling out. My wounds weren't as painful as they should be either. I leaned against another tree, trying to muddle through my thoughts to find a solution.

The stench of the mongrel's blood made me dizzy. I looked down. I hadn't noticed before, but I was covered in it.

Vampire venom was poison to them. It wouldn't be that outlandish to assume that their blood was bad for us as well.

My steps were quickly becoming awkward.

A lake… I needed a lake to get this poison off of me.

I kept stumbling around the forest and the world seemed a bit foggier.

Damn it. I won't let this be the end. I won't let this be the way I perish from time. A king should die in a glorious battle, not from a festering wound.

And the gods must have heard me because it started to rain just as my strength gave out.

I felt some of the filth wash away as I idly wondered why I had decided to undertake this attack alone. But of course, I knew exactly why I had done so, even if it was a poor reason... Boredom, the bane of all immortals.

In a few days they would come looking, my faithful guards- and then all this will be a distant memory. I just had to wait and hope that no enemy stumbled upon me.

I tried to shutdown my thoughts and senses not only in order to dull the pain, but also to dull the passage of time. The pain I could easily take. It was nothing compared to all I've been through, both before and after becoming a vampire.

It was the thought of time that was dangerous, the incessant need to count the seconds until I had fresh blood and could walk on my own- the need to look at the stars and slowly see them move as I stayed still- the need to feel the sun heat and abandon the world to the night. It would drive a vampire crazy faster than any pain could.

And then an angelic noise broke the control over my perception. It was no longer raining. My eyes just barely cracked open, looking for the source of the cheerful humming. But it was too far away, and I was too weak to turn my head.

The light humming grew louder, along with the tantalizing scent of fresh blood- more than one human's blood. A feast if only I had the strength to partake. I could hear a heartbeat pounding away, flagrantly taunting me.

The humming suddenly stopped, and I remained perfectly still, hoping that the human would come closer, but not willing to expose myself as a vampire. I was pleased when I heard soft footsteps slowly come towards me.

And then from the corner of my eye I saw her- A short brunette with her hair pulled back, clad in shorts and a tee-shirt, along with hiking boots, but the most striking feature was what she was covered in. Every inch of her skin was red with the blood of at least two other people.

I physically ached to reach out and drain her dry, or at the very least lick every inch of her.

She stopped a foot away from me, just out of my reach.

The woman had a perplexed look on her face as she squatted down to get a better look at me. I realized that she had a large knife in her hand that she was idly playing with while looking at me. She sat down and cupped her chin in thought, staring at me with concentration. She opened her mouth then closed it again, clearly frustrated.

"I guess I must have killed him." The woman finally mumbled while standing up. "Where is my head?" She said jokingly while walking away. I held back a frustrated growl. She had been so close, so close to her death and my revival.

The blood covered woman started humming again as she moved further away, and then a slight squeaking joined in, heading back in my direction. Perhaps there was hope yet for this pain to end quicker than first expected. The woman began to sing in a lovely voice.

_Animal crackers in my soup  
monkies and rabbits loop the loop,_

I held back a growl at hearing such a happy song in such an annoying situation- but then my eyes widened infinitesimally when I saw what was making the squeaking noise. The woman was pushing forward a wheelbarrow with two fresh corpses in it. The combined scents of their blood made my jaw quiver.

_Gosh, oh gee, but I have fun,  
swallowin' animals one by one._

The woman stopped beside me and tipped over the wheelbarrow- dumping its bloody contents right on top of me. I held back a moan as I felt the lukewarm blood seep into my wounds. My sight cleared up almost instantly, but the rest of my body was still non-responsive.

For the corner of my eye I saw the woman start walking back in the direction she came from, all the while humming that incessantly cheery song. I tried to reach up and grab one of the corpses so I could properly drink from it, but my left arm was still only barely attached and my right was lodged under my back. This fortunate occurrence would speed things up, but I'd still have to bide my time.

A few minutes later the woman walked back, carrying a shovel and a large bag. She dropped the bag and with an alluring grunt of exertion she broke ground with the shovel. Now that my eyes could once more see clearly I realized that this demon of a woman looked divine- and the blood that covered her just made her more captivating.

I wanted to turn my head to fully view her as she dug a hole, but my own weakness and the hindrance of two corpses on top of me prevented me from doing so.

She began singing that same damn tune as before while she dug a grave.

_When I get hold  
of the 'Big bad wolf'  
I just push him under to drown._

If only circumstances were different... I may have kept, even let her become a part of the guard. Such beauty shouldn't be wasted on death.

Her grunts of exertion became even more alluring as I became more alive, more able to imagine her naked.

_Then I bite him  
in a million bits  
and I gobble him right down._

The insane ones were always the most beautiful... the most delicious.

She kept digging and I wondered if she'd be done before I was mobile enough to kill her. If not it would make my guards' job of finding me much more difficult. That was unlikely though. I could already feel my left shoulder healing, along with the larger wounds.

It started drizzling and the woman stopped her digging to look up. She raised her hands to the sky and the dirt and blood slowly washed away, revealing creamy white skin. Her clothing stuck even closer to her form- and I suddenly wanted her body more than her blood. My hands twitched, wanting to hold her.

She sat beside me in the bloody mud, humming again… So close. She pulled her hair down and it fell to lower back. The woman looked in my direction, to one of the corpses. She grabbed the man's head and began serenading it.

_When they're inside me  
where its dark,  
I walk around like Noah's ark  
I stuff my tummy like a goop  
with animal crackers in my soup_

The woman let go of the man's head and began laughing hysterically. And she was such a sight to behold- a demon after my affection.

She stood up and went back to digging as the rain became heavier. I contemplated the situation while she hummed and I healed. My decision was easier than expected.

So, when she finished digging the grave and started shoving the corpses into it one by one I grabbed her ankle and bit into it. I savored her blood for only a moment before injecting my own venom into her- because this beautiful and insane woman would make the perfect mate.

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**What do you think of my lil' one-shot? **


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